How Now, Dow Jones (Arkiv version)

The entire action takes place in present-day (1967) New York City. How Now, Dow Jones takes you behind the scenes on Wall Street, a world of Analysts, Brokers, Commissions, customers' men and the women who wait for them. Introducing the action in the financial district is tour guide Cynthia Pike (Brenda Vaccaro) explaining the machinations of the market in “A-B-C.”

At lunchtime Cynthia joins her friend Kate Montgomery (Marlyn Mason) who's called "The Voice of Dow Jones" because she announces the latest averages over a public-address system. Kate's fiancé, Herbert, is more interested in the shape of the Dow Jones figures than in Kate's shapely figure, a sad fact bewailed by Kate and Cynthia in “They Don't Make 'Em Like That Anymore.”

Enter Charley Matson (Anthony Roberts), the personification of an all-round failure who is preparing to commit suicide after he finishes drinking his lunch. He and Kate exchange tales of woe and decide before giving up entirely to “Live A Little.”

After an exciting around-the-town spree, they feel mutual romantic stirrings which must no longer be overlooked – “The Pleasure's About To Be Mine.”

William Foster Wingate (Hiram Sherman) of Wingate & Co., Brokers, meets Senator McFetridge (Barnard Hughes) and discovers that McFetridge is about to start “A Little Investigation.”

Kate and Charley have had their romantic one-night fling and Kate is finding it difficult to say goodbye and “Walk Away.”

Wingate has devised a scheme for selling more Wingate & Co. stocks: get to those little people with big money, the widows of America, by hiring a boyish broker who can gain their confidence. A natural for the role? Charley, who learns that the key to success lies in “Gawk, Tousle and Shucks.”

Cynthia visits Kate and explains her predicament: she's Wingate's mistress "in name only." Her benefactor has yet to set foot in their love nest. Kate's situation is quite different: she's in love with Charley, engaged to Herbert, and expecting Charley's baby. Dr. Gilman (Sammy Smith) and Cynthia go all out to convince Kate that you don't die from love – “Shakespeare Lied.”

Meanwhile Charley is a fantastic success with widows who adore his little-boy looks. Mrs. Millhauser (Charlotte Jones), head of the Central Park West Canasta and Common Stock Club, is sure Charley will soon be Wall Street's leading broker – “Step to the Rear.”

Kate arranges a meeting with Charley, but when she discovers that he's now engaged to his childhood sweetheart, she loses her courage and fails to tell him of her love – and impending motherhood. She's now convinced that her only hope is the plodding Herbert, who says they'll be married when the Dow Jones average climbs to +1,000 (a high he's been predicting for some two years). As "The Voice of Dow Jones," Kate can "make it happen" – and does – “Big Trouble.”

The news spreads fast. Dow Jones has hit the magic figure +1,000 and there's dancing in the streets led by Dr. Gilman, the widow Klein (Fran Stevens), and a nurse, with all agreeing that “Rich Is Better.”

Kate, the cause of it all, delights in her deception, a Machiavellian moment she feels entitled to – “Just for the Moment.”

Wingate realizes that Kate gave out a phony report, but he doesn't know why until Herbert explains his promise to marry her when and if the Dow Jones average rises to +1,000. Kate has now disappeared and, knowing it's only a matter of hours until the lie is discovered and the market crashes, Wingate decides to hide out with Cynthia, who is overjoyed at his arrival – “He's Here!”

The inevitable happens. The Wall Street hoax is found out by the masses and everyone is looking for Kate, the girl from Dow Jones. She's finally cornered by Cynthia, Wingate, Herbert and Charley, and Cynthia tells them the whole story. Then the lovers Charley and Kate agree they may be ill-fated but they're also made for each other – “Touch and Go.”

In a last-minute coup fashioned by the feminine wiles of Kate and Cynthia and Charley's practical appeal to his avarice, A.K., Wall Street's greatest tycoon, decides to buy – everything! The day is saved when the word gets out that "A.K. is buying" and others follow suit (Finale).